I never thought I would have to deal
with depression. I am by nature a positive, upbeat person and from the time I
was a teenager I trained myself to always think positively. I had no time or
empathy for a negative person. My response would be, “Get over it and move on.”
But in 2012 I suffered a very serious
heart attack that almost took my life and required immediate open-heart
surgery. The weakened state in which it left me led to depression when I was
unable to carry out the most fundamental tasks. God, however, had a way—an unusual
way—to bring me out of my depression, and I believe He also has a way to deliver
from the depression you are in.
It Was a Very Serious Time
When I was finally released from the
hospital, I was in a very weakened state, but right away I phoned friends and
business partners to assure them that everything was okay. I did not want
people to run scared, so I talked to them in terms of “I am just fine. All is
wonderful. It’s roses and chocolate.”
In reality, however, I knew in my
heart that this was a serious time. My
body was weak. I tired easily. And I had this awful sick feeling. To add to the
problem, I was taking all kinds of prescribed drugs and medications, all of which
had negative side effects.
I thrive on action and getting things
done, but in my weakened state, I found that I couldn’t carry out the most
fundamental tasks. I felt myself slipping into feelings of hopelessness.
Hopelessness is the chief characteristic of depression.
When I had the heart attack, I was
running 21 different entities—more or less—including limited partnerships and
LLC’s. But in my weakened condition, I couldn’t keep up with everything. I felt
I was losing control of life, and this led to a sense of hopelessness and
despair.
I remember lying in bed, feeling so
sick, and thinking, “I am probably not going to make it. I am going to die any
day.” Then I would think, “I’ve got shake this off and get things in order. I
don’t want to leave a mess.” Then I would begin thinking about my wife, my
daughter, and my mother, whom I had cared for since the death of my father.
What is going to happen to them? How will they manage?
This went
on day after day. No matter how hard I prayed or sought to fill my mind with
positive thoughts, I could not shake off the sense of hopelessness and despair.
Prepared for Greater Effectiveness
Having
come through this, I now realize that what I was experiencing was not something
strange or unusual. In fact, it is estimated that depression affects over 18
million adults in any given year. That’s one in ten! Also, it is the leading
cause of disability for people between the ages of 15 and 44. Furthermore, it
is the primary reason someone dies of suicide about every 12 minutes. That’s
over 41,000 people a year! By way of comparison, according to statistics at the
Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, homicide claims fewer than 16,000
lives each year,
Even Paul
the Apostle went through a time of hopeless despair. He tells about it in II
Corinthians 1:3-10. In verse 8-10, he tells of a time of ministry in Asia: We were under great pressure, far beyond our
ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.
God delivered Paul from this
hopeless situation, and in verses 3-4, he explains how these trials had worked a compassion in him for
others who were going through similar difficulties. He refers to God as the God
of all comfort whom he says, comforts us in all our troubles, so that we
can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
In a similar way, I can see clearly that
God has used my ordeal with depression to work in me an empathy and compassion I did not have before. This has served me well in my calling to help veterans, many of whom are suffering from depression and PTSD. This has also served me well on numerous occasions ministering
to people in a state of hopeless despair.
The Day of
My Deliverance
When the time came for my
deliverance, God didn’t use a great doctor or a psychiatrist with the latest
medical technology. Instead, He used a little white dog we named Chimera.
Chimera belonged to my daughter, Libertee, and is a cute little two-pound ball of fur. We also had
a big black Labrador named Sabrina, and she and Chimera got along really well.
One day, as I was lying in bed, I was
feeling sick and hopeless. I noticed Chimera and how happy she was. I watched
as she played with a little toy. She would run, toss it, and shake it. One
time, 80-pound Sabrina decided to join in the fun. She got close to two-pound
Chimera and stood over her growling, but Chimera went right on having the time
of her life.
As I watched this, something snapped
in me. The light came on! I thought to myself, “My Lord! If that little puppy
could go through all it has been through, being brought into a strange new home
with a massive growling monster towering over her, and still have that kind of
faith and love and happiness—what in the heck is wrong with me? That big Lab
standing over her growling could snap her in half with one bite and she has
absolutely no fear.”
I was still sick and physically weak,
but the depression lifted, thanks to Chimera. We’ve nicknamed her “Doctor KAI.”
Being free of depression helped speed
up my physical recovery. This confirms the medical theory that shows that a
person’s state of the mind has a profound effect on the health of the body.
Through this
experience, I was reminded that puppies and service dogs can, in fact, help
alleviate depression for many people. For example, they can often fill the need
for love and companionship for seniors sitting alone at home or in senior
citizens’ homes. Also, this is often true of veterans suffering from PTSD.
Might the
reverse also be true? Dogs caged at the SPCA want the same thing—love and
companionship. It’s a winning combination!
Pruned for
Greater Fruitfulness
As I thought about my life, I
realized that I had been through the pruning process that Jesus spoke about (John
15:1-2). In this passage, He compared Himself to a vine, us to branches, and
God to a gardener. He says that God prunes the branches, not to destroy them,
but to cause them to be more fruitful.
I am the true vine, and my Father is the
gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that
bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he
prunes so that it will be even more fruitful (John 15:1-2, NIV).
I came through this pruning time a
changed person. I now had more confidence in God and less in myself. Going
forward, I knew my life had to be more about God and less about me. It had to
be more about ministry and less about worldly business.
If I had not gone through this pruning
process, I would never have been able to help the suicidal veteran I talk about
later in this book.
This article was derived from the book, The Man With Nine Lives, by Roland Stewart III and is available from Amazon. Mr. Stewart is a wealthy real estate mogul with an amazing rags to riches story. He has been snatched from the jaws of death so many times that his friends and colleagues began referring to him as "the cat with nine lives," hence the title of his book.
